COUPLES COUNSELING AND RELATIONAL RECOVERY

Our culture has changed and so have the way relationships work. 

If you are looking for couples therapy that leads you and your partner towards greater intimacy and awareness within your relationship, Lorri can help. Having spent a number of years training with Terrance Real, New York Times bestselling author of The New Rules of Marriage, Lorri has the strategies to help you and your partner cultivate a new relationship.

Are you stuck in a pattern in your relationship that you and your partner can’t seem to break?

  • Do you find yourself arguing and not being able to reach resolution?
  • Do you feel your partner doesn’t hear you and you are left feeling invalidated and alone?
  • Are you worried your children are going to download a toxic template and won’t have a future functional marriage?
  • Have you been to marriage counselors before to end up back in the same patterns of who is right and who is wrong?

You may have all the signs pointing to being in a very hopeless relationship, but it may just be that you need to boost your relationship into becoming a 21-st century relationship…

A successful partnership requires leaving behind outdated, old messaging regarding what it takes to have a successful relationship.

Take a minute and remember where your model of intimacy came from? How did mom and dad relate, communicate during conflict, and show affection? What worked? What didn’t? You downloaded both as your model on how to be intimate and vulnerable.

Do you wish you had a road map on how to effectively communicate, repair past damage, and strengthen the “us” aspects of your relationship?

Most couples need winning strategies to learn how to be relationally fit.

There are strategies to move your relationship beyond where you are at currently. Sometimes, and oftentimes is the case, there is a set pattern of behavior that needs to be amended so that one or both people can realign to cherishing a connection with each other.

It is reassuring when you and your partner are in agreement regarding how you negotiate and handle conflict. You and your partner will learn to get your needs met while sustaining the “closeness that healthy getting and giving brings.” – Terry Real

Through joining in each other’s truth, even if it doesn’t match, you both learn to feel appreciated and desired within the sacredness of the “us” aspects of the relationship. You will learn the gift of interdependence and celebrate sharing to be known without fear of retribution or retaliation.

Finding the barriers that are hindering intimacy within the relationship can lead to permanent change.

Through directive counseling sessions, it is expected that a corrective emotional experience will happen while you and your partner learn to empower each other just like you did when you first met.

As the limiting patterns are uncovered, tools are given to learn how to have moments outside of the session to lead to swift relationship repair. You and your partner have the opportunity to learn how to change long standing aspects within the relationship that have caused you to look into therapy as a solution.

I believe that people can change.

Once you and your partner implement the strategies of relationship repair and are more relationally fit, you will be on your way to recovery.

You and Your Partner Can Create A Lasting Intimate Connection

I promote a high standard for clients. I recognize that engaging in couples therapy may feel like a last ditch effort to salvage what’s left in the wake of a long pattern of the same-old behavior.

I have trained with Terrance Real and the Relational Life Institute to offer a model that will not only create change for you and your partner but limits the generational handing down of dysfunctional relational messaging.

I will help you and your partner learn how to implement the Five Winning Strategies that are imperative to becoming relationally fit.

You will learn how to:

  • Shift from Complaint to Request
  • Speak out of Love and Savvy
  • Respond with Generosity
  • Empower Each Other
  • Cherish One Another

You can expect guidance and support through this process. I believe in rocking the boat for the sake of cultivating more intimacy within a relationship.
As patterns emerge, I share what I believe is going on with you and your partner. You have full-disclosure to my thought process as it relates to your relationship.

Once we find the limiting patterns to intimacy, I will give you and your partner corrective solutions to get your relationship back to being fun and exciting again.
But, you may still have questions or concerns about engaging in couple’s therapy…

What if my spouse refuses to change?

It can be frustrating when one person makes the unilateral decision not to change. Maybe they take on the stance of, I am who I am! Science shows this isn’t true. The brain has an amazing ability for change and that includes character change. But—if your partner has an argument for neuroplascity then he or she may come because the consequence of not coming is motivating. They may want to “keep out of trouble.” A lot of times, what motivates one person to engage in therapy changes as they enter into a deeper understanding of themselves and the danger of refusing to change.

My partner gets too defensive for me to be vulnerable in therapy?

As patterns within the relationship are illuminated through the phase of me getting to know both people, part of the therapy is for me to speak about the patterns that are shooting the relationship in the foot…figuratively and literally. The tools used in relational therapy are supportive of each person having an objective reality. Needing to be right is a losing strategy within the relational techniques used. Withdrawal is also a losing strategy. Retaliation is a big losing strategy. Each person will be given the tools needed to realign with a more neutral sense of power within the relationship. That said, if one partner is being physically abusive, it might be necessary to engage in individual therapy before couples counseling can begin.

What if my partner has been unfaithful?

The basis of the couple’s therapy I offer is to foster intimacy. If one person is actively involved in an intimate relationship with a third party and is unwilling to stop, I will not engage in therapy with this person. It is impossible to repair intimacy if one partner is trying to grieve within the relationship while a third-party is intimately involved. However, if the infidelity has ceased, it is possible to rebuild trust and intimacy. Oftentimes, acts of infidelity are something individuals turn to when they don’t have the skill-set to speak effectively about what is making them unhappy. In relational recovery, learning to speak about your needs and wants is part of the therapeutic tool set you and your partner will gain.

If you are ready to learn how to be relationally empowered, contact me to schedule a time to meet.

If you are Rebuilding your Life After a Relationship Ends and it is Challenging....

The help of a relationship and divorce recovery counselor will allow you to develop a stronger relationship with yourself ensuring you allow space for the grief process so you can be successful with a significant other in the future…

If you are seeking a counselor because you are feeling confused, alone or heartbroken due to a relationship break-up, separation or divorce, you have come to the right place.

You may be asking yourself what happened.

Perhaps you are having difficulty coming to grips with the fact that it’s over and now you have to face your life as a single person.

You may feel really alone.

You may question who you are, who you want to be, or what you want from your life now.

Perhaps you are having trouble with your former spouse or partner.

If you are still grieving, it can be really difficult. You may be unable to focus on much else.

If any of these sound familiar, you are likely a good candidate for relationship recovery therapy:

  • I feel lost. I don’t know where to go from here.
  • I have many regrets—if only I would have…
  • When will the grief end?
  • I feel angry that this happened to me. I should have known better.
  • I’m ready to move on, but I’m not sure how to do that.
  • I don’t how to relate to my ex. Should I be in touch … or not? What if I have to be in contact because of our children and don’t want to be?
  • I want to come to terms with what went wrong and ensure this doesn’t happen again.

Intense and Confusing Emotions Are Normal When a Relationship Ends….

When you experience the loss of a relationship whether through separation or divorce, adjusting to the unfulfilled dream of what you thought you had together—what you envisioned your future to be– takes time. The more support you have during this time, the easier if will be for you to get through this and rebuild your life.

Counseling Helps Get Beyond the Past and Helps You Re-focus on Your Life Again….

A better life…

A better relationship with yourself…

A better relationship with someone else in the future…

As your counselor, I’ll help you heal and re-build your life. You WILL recover from your break-up or divorce. We’ll work together to help you overcome all the confusing and upsetting feelings you have.

If you are feeling lost and alone, counseling can help you feel stronger and more at peace.

If you are having repeated thoughts of regret, therapy can help you focus more on the present and create a vision for your future. If you are feeling stuck in your grief, as therapy can help you heal.

Counseling will help you sort out what went wrong so you can feel free to move on with your life.

Through relationship recovery therapy you will:

  • Let go of any hurt, anger and confusion.
  • Sleep and eat better and feel more at peace.
  • Heal old hurts that have arisen as the result of your loss.
  • Feel confident in the steps you need to take in relation to your children, finances, and your future.
  • Discover how to trust yourself again.
  • Eventually feel ready to love again.
  • Adjust to your new life, and eventually feel excited about the new possibilities that await you.

I know that it might be really hard right now. I ask you to take a leap of faith and know that you can. As your therapist, I’ll work with you to create a deep and meaningful life for yourself.

It will take a bit of time and some work, but imagine what it will feel like once you feel stronger and more confident.

If you want help in easing the process of relationship or divorce recovery, contact me to find out more about how therapy can help you feel good about yourself and your life again.

Now is the time to love yourself enough to take care of you.

Contact me now to book your first counseling appointment.

Lorri Lancashire, provides services for clients wanting help dealing with recovery work surrounding relationships, eating disorders, addiction therapy, couples counseling, anxiety and depression counseling, and family counseling. Lorri’s therapy office is located on the Dallas North Tollway off of Lovers Lane in Dallas, Texas. She is available for phone session when travel is limited